Divinity of sex is one of the greatest human myths.
Almost everyone believes it is ‘natural’ and necessary. Some even takes it to be a godly gift. Religions and government and parents approve of it within social contracts. Rebels, flower children, hippies, yuppies, new Indian generation who imagines themselves as ‘liberated’, faithless and faithful.. all wake up to a wish to have a brand new sexual experience on any given day. Anyone having any idea that doesn’t favour sex is seen as a deviant. I’ve nothing against it and like you I too have enjoyed it. This note is only to help us see that there are other unexplored dimensions to sex.
1. We perform fellatio on our partner because we feel deprived within. This is an instinctual urge from our unconscious fear-self. Hence, this fact is not apparent to our conscious mind. Please don’t resist or argue without contemplating deep on what’s the truth about you being a male or female. Were you ‘created’ as matter? Is matter your truth? Or is appearance of me as a male or female mere atomic delusional state of mind? So aren’t we hungering to gobble down our own frightening emptiness?
2. Why do we have this urge for cunnilingus? Aren’t we seeking maternal security from the world of flesh? We are trying to please our point of entry as body.
3. Do we know why we so eagerly enter her / him? Isn’t that an expression of our desperate urge to get back into a womb of love and vanish from our ego?
4. Do we know why we draw him inside? To get rid of our sense of void. To end you as a separate self.
These unconscious drives, unfortunately, will never take us where we wish to be. Sexual acts are perfect symbols of our deep sense of lack within. Sex is never an effective medication for our innate sense of emptiness. However much we try to label it as a celebration of humanhood, this programme is designed to fail in its attempt to make us feel complete. And humans believed that they are ‘loving’ the other with these acts! Billions still believe so 🙂 Yes, we are perfectly delusional.
Truth has to grow within us and heal us from within. Till then, we will climb upon the other and toil on her or him, imagining we are riding ourselves into the gates of paradise. Funny, how swamis, priests and bishops sprinkle ‘holy’ water on a male and a female who are just about to play horseman on each other!
Yayati was an old man. He had done all these a thousand times more than we have. He didn’t feel ‘fulfilled’. So he borrowed the youth from his son. He went on doing the same acts in his hypnotic life. One day (or perhaps night), the man realised that he was being fooled by his deepest fear-consciousness. He saw he was trying to fill a bottomless receptacle. A mere mind game. He returned the youth to his son and went to lead a silent quest. The truth had struck him like a lightening bolt.
At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you have to deny yourself any experience. Any involvement will be used to its holy results if we allow the higher guidance to take over us. The only pointer here is to us who might be overestimating sex as well as our sexual identities. The moment we turn sex into some kind of idol, something begins to corrode us. This has nothing to do with our external acts, mind you. This would be a signal for us to look at ourselves, a reminder that tells us that we needn’t repress nor indulge by considering sex as a gateway to paradise. Because it simply isn’t.
May the lightening bolt of wisdom hit right into our minds. May we not claim sex tours mean freedom like the ‘flower children’ interpreted. May we not add divine halo to the act. May we not also suppress our drives. Rather, may we understand what this phenomenon is about. Sex is a symbol of our deepest craving to escape our emptiness. It is an expression of a hypnotised human’s slavery to fear. In this framework of mind, teachers like Vatsyayana and Osho represent smart but egoic, delusional plans of an hypnotised-self.
If you feel provoked or irritated, very good for you in the long run. Even ‘spiritual teachers’ are victims of this hypnosis. Layman will easily get this. Only the confused-spirituals will come to argue about divinity of sex, manhood and womanhood.
Human delusions are plenty: They believe they have got things to do, objects to own, places to go, and other bodies to be with. A regular practitioner of silence realises that these are all blatant lies. This is a realisation that opens you into your freedom. Whatever had hindered you from being joyous, all conditionings just fall away and burn away like old snake skin, when you immerse in silence. Silence is not merely the language of the divine. It is the doorway to you, the divine. And it will teach you that sex is neither sacred nor profane, but just a mind game.
Yes, you’ll invariably draw a lot more joy and knowing from silence than sex.